Creating a guest list for your wedding can be one of the easier tasks in wedding planning. But sending out invitations? That's an entirely different story! Wedding invitation etiquette is full of details that can quickly become overwhelming if you're not familiar with the "rules." From timing to wording, there’s a lot to consider. I’m here to answer your burning questions and help you navigate the most common wedding invitation etiquette mistakes so you can avoid any awkwardness.
1. When Should I Send My Invitations?
Timing is key when it comes to wedding invitations. If you’ve already sent out Save the Dates, your invitations should go out 4 months before your wedding date. This gives guests enough time to make arrangements but isn’t so far in advance that they forget to RSVP.
But what if you didn’t send Save the Dates? No problem! In that case, aim to send your invitations about 3 months before the wedding. This is especially important if you're having a destination wedding or many guests will be traveling from out of town. In these cases, sending invitations even earlier is advisable so that your guests have enough time to make travel arrangements.
2. When Should My Save the Dates Go Out?
Save the Dates are a great way to give your guests a heads-up and ensure that they'll block off your wedding date on their calendars. You can send Save the Dates as soon as you know your wedding date and location. In fact, I recommend sending them up to 12 months before the big day, but no later than 6 months in advance. This early notice allows your guests plenty of time to make travel plans, request time off, and get excited!
3. What Should I Use as My RSVP Date?
The RSVP date is one of the most crucial components of your invitation. You want to give your guests enough time to respond but not so much time that they forget about your wedding entirely. If you're sending your invites about 4 months before the wedding, then aim for an RSVP deadline about 2 months before the big day.
This provides ample time for guests to respond, while still giving you enough time to finalize your headcount for vendors, seating charts, and any last-minute details.
4. What Information Should I Put on the Invitation?
Your wedding invitation should include the essentials, and keeping it simple is key. Here's what you definitely need:
The hosts (usually the couple, or both families)
The couple's names
The venue and ceremony time
That's it! You don't need to overwhelm guests with excessive information. For anything beyond the basics—like details on dress codes, accommodations, or directions—these can be included on an enclosure card or your wedding website.
5. How Many Pieces Should Be Included in My Invitation Suite?
A traditional wedding invitation suite includes:
The main invitation (with the basics, as mentioned)
An RSVP card (and pre-addressed envelope, if possible)
At least one enclosure card (with accommodation details, dress code, etc.)
This gives your guests all the info they need without overloading them. If you have more information to share (like parking instructions, gift registry details, or directions), these can also go on additional enclosure cards or your wedding website. The goal is to strike a balance—too much information in the invitation suite can become overwhelming, but a website allows guests to access everything they need without clutter.
6. Should Single People Get a Plus-One?
Here's the short answer: Not necessarily. If your guest is single and doesn't have a serious partner, you are not obligated to offer them a plus-one. However, if the guest doesn’t know many people at the wedding, you may consider extending a plus-one to make them feel more comfortable. This is especially appreciated when most guests are in couples.
If you do offer plus-ones, be sure to be specific on the invitation by including the guest's name and their +1 on the envelope. This helps avoid any confusion.
7. If Someone Comes to My Bridal Shower, Should I Invite Them to the Wedding?
Yes! If you've invited someone to your bridal shower or engagement party, they should also be invited to your wedding. It’s considered bad form to invite someone to a shower but not to the main event, as this might send the message that you're seeking their support without offering them a proper invitation to the celebration.
Also, keep in mind that if someone is invited to the ceremony, they should also be invited to the reception. Excluding them from one or the other can create unnecessary hurt feelings and it's tacky.
8. How Do We Tell Guests That the Wedding Is Adults-Only?
An adults-only wedding is becoming more common, and it’s important to communicate this politely and clearly. Here's how:
Address the invitations to specific individuals (e.g., “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” or “Sarah Jones”) instead of saying “The Smith Family” or “The Jones Family.” This should make it clear that only those named on the envelope are invited.
Don’t put it directly on the invitation. That can be seen as impolite.
Include a polite message on a details card or mention it on your wedding website. A simple line like "We’re celebrating an adults-only evening" will do the trick.
9. Should I Include Gift Information on the Invitation?
As tempting as it might be to mention your gift registry on the invitation, it's considered tacky. The focus should remain on the celebration of your love, not what guests are expected to bring. If you want to share gift registry info, your wedding website is the best place for it.
Alternatively, close family members or the bridal party can spread the word if needed. But, please, do not include registry details directly on your invitation or enclosure cards.
Wrapping It Up
There are a lot of details to keep in mind when it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, but hopefully, this guide helps you feel a little more confident as you start working on your invitations. Stick to the essentials: timing, clarity, and thoughtfulness. You want your guests to feel excited about your big day—not stressed out by confusing or awkward details.
Now that you have a clear roadmap for wedding invitation etiquette, take a deep breath and enjoy this special moment in your planning process. After all, the wedding is about celebrating love—and that’s something you can’t overdo!
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